9/5:
topic given- 'continue short story,' but i took a break, story will continue tomorrow.
i want to be understood, i crave to be listened to, i need to be trusted. my words come like silence to those who need to hear them most. i am overwhelmed. i am stressed out. i can't think. i cry. i cry a lot. i wake up and everything should be forgotten, but i wake up and everything starts over again- the screaming, the fighting, from the second before i even open my eyes. the pressures are countless, but the list enlarges daily. college, scholarships, schedule, classes, sports, future, decisions, trips, homework, plans, priorities, friends, love, letters, phone calls, help!
i'm sorry my room isn't clean. i worked from morning till night instead of cleaning it. i'm sorry i got home late. i wanted to enjoy my one free night this week. i'm sorry i didn't call. i was caught up in one single moment of worriless wonder. i'm sorry i'm not perfect. i try my hardest at everything i do, do all that i can. i'm sorry the truth upset you. i rarely lie, even if doing so would save me from the yelling. i'm sorry i went to bed late. i got home at eight, did homework till eleven, cried myself to sleep till midnight. i'm sorry i don't sneak out. i'm sorry i don't drink. i'm sorry i don't get wasted and party and have sex and have sketchy friends. i'm sorry i hang out with people with my morals, with your morals, when i could easily disappoint you behind your back. i'm sorry that while other eighteen year olds are getting in trouble with the police, i'm getting in trouble for getting a B. i'm sorry that three ap classes and a cuesta class won't look good enough to colleges. i'm sorry i'm such a burden.
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5 comments:
i'm sorry your soo stressed,
thats hard i know,
but you will make it through,
your strong, and smart,
you'll find a way,
3ap classes and a cuesta class is not enough? yeah right! thats more than most people do in a year, let alone a semester.
College and Scholarships will all fall in line, just wait. take it easy.
dont kill your self stressing over all the little and big things together. you'll just get way to burnt out and lose all ambition.
just breathe.
sort everything out, make time for school, make time for friends, screw cleaning your room thats pointless your just gonna dirty it up again the next time you set foot in it. hell look at my room, you cant see the floor and i'm perfectly fine.
dont stress over the lil stuff.
just take it one step at a time.
oh, my b. that was my comment.
i just forgot to put my name.
-DG
i'm sorry i didn't get a chance to read this sooner, but i very much enjoy reading it, and i totally do know how you feel. all anyone ever does at my house is fight, it's ridiculous. over summer i never cried, and now all of a sudden i remember that i cry almost every day. life is really stressful right now, but hopefully in a month or two it will be much better. the way ive started thinking about it is: we're filling out boxes. that's all this college stuff is-filling things out, writing an essay or two. it's not like we're incapable. and you do the best you can. you're a great person with good intentions and your parents im sure realize that, and you spoil them. they're lucky that the least of their problems with you is a B. seriously, you're doing great. i love you.
All I can say is that I definitely relate to the messy room ordeal. Come on mom, it's not as if you have to live in it! At least it's books that are covering the floor, not heroin needles!
You can get a good education at whatever college you go to, and considering your workload you will have a large selection of some prime schools.
Do the best you can, and that will be good enough. You are only responsible for your own happiness. Don't let the small stuff get you down. You're doing marvelous. ly.
I'm going to be redundant and say it like everyonoe else.
I'm sorry
this time for always trying to make you feel better. Sometimes I feel like I don't listen enough. If everyone were happier, things would be easier...but not everyone is happy. Life is stressful and, despite the stress, sometimes it escapes you. Half the procrastination that takes place while writing an essay is stress. Through all the fights, tears, and suppressed anger, the seconds are passing until the next morning, the next week, the next year when those problems are out of date and new ones are arising. I just hope that those passing moments are wasted on smiles and hugs rather than a soaked pillow. This is why I'm always trying to tell you that things are going to be okay. These things always pass and in the end, it's always okay and, if we can help it, better than that.
Every argument, every night you stay up doing homework, every extra moment you spend with your friends when you know you should be getting home changes your priorities. Those are the values that help you make your decisions for the rest of your life. Finding out how much time you're willing to spend on a paper, how much you'll risk coming home late to an angry parent, WILL help you decide where to go to school, your workload in college, how much responsibility you want in your career. It all builds up, Jackie; it all happens for a reason. Just, while you're going through these processes, think about what they mean to your life. You are who you are. Accept it, embrace it, let it guide your life.
-TUSTONE
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