11/23 12:16 am

11/23:
stream of consciousness at 12:16 in the morning

it's so different being awake at this time of night. the house is empty, and the air is cold, and the noise is silenced, except for my clock, it's persistent ticking. i left the blinds open to see the city lights. my head moves and it looks like they're flashing. i'm not tired but i should be. my lamp is on, but not the ceiling light. i can barely see my words. i can almost see my breath. the shadows make shapes. i spy with my little eye a staircase, an angel, a parrot, or a pirate? i crave dancing on my bed to loud music- rock n roll aint noise pollution. but too many people would mind. i think. i wouldn't mind. my mind is blank. i want someone to call. i'm staring at my phone. i'd love to converse. 12:28. i hate the phone, but i wish you'd call. i hear something. everything is so quiet, it could be coming from miles away. a dog bark, or a couple giggling, or a grown man crying deeply. distance can change things when it's least expected. i wish people told the truth in truth or dare. i crave truth. i crave knowledge. are crickets always chirping, simply blanketed by the everyday sounds? or do they really only come out at night, ensuring the recognition of their song. it's cold, but this isn't winter. i want snow under and around me. the real cold. ah, and that's why i'm with him. someone to read my thoughts. hello, i love you. that's what she said. i'm on my bed. i'm staring at four sweatshirts. my nose is thirty two degrees fahrenheit. it's so cold. but the happy cold. the cold where things aren't mean or hurtful, where things make sense. and the second i'd put on a jacket, or crawl beneath the sheets, that crisp clarity, i fear, would fade. i don't think authors mean to use alliteration. i think we're all searching for something that doesn't exist.

11/13 favorite

11/13:
topic given- 'write about your favorite animal [and again...]'

Though not the fastest of them all,
On the contrary, quite small,
He doesn't care 'bout being feared
And hides away when he is neared.
With shell of steel and face of fleece,
A strong advocate for world peace,
Do not ask him to jump a hurtle,
My favorite animal is the turtle!

11/12 childhood

11/12:
topic given- 'write about your childhood [again, in getting ready for the children's story]'

The years before six are not in my head,
It's hard to remember the things that were said.
At six I changed place to a far foreign land.
I stayed for three years, my stay was quite grand.
I made many friends, some big and some small,
I tried as I could to keep up with them all.
Moving back to my home was a hard thing to do
Though they all told me "I'll remember you."
Three years in Ohio, all three were the best
'Till again I was leaving, now who would've guessed?
This move was the hardest, I'd made such close friends.
I thought that for sure this would be the end.
But on the west coast, the sun still did shine,
The weather was great, and the people were kind!
I fit in with ease, though Ohio was missed,
I soon found friends and, well, you get the gist.
My groups they did change, for good or for bad,
Some days I was happy, but others quite sad.
I'm leaving next year, an adventure to come,
The days I now live have been better than some.

11/9 monster

11/9:
topic given- 'write about what's under your bed, in getting ready to write a children's story'

During the day, when you are outside,
Playing with toys, on swing sets, or rides,
A creature is lurking, he's hidden away.
He sits and he waits 'till the end of the day.
When you go to sleep is when he awakes,
He searches around, just one sock he takes.
Your bed is his home, quite secret indeed.
He's 'fraid of the light, the dark's what he needs.
But you shouldn't fear, he's really quite nice,
He's sweet as can be, full of sugar and spice.
So next time you peek underneath your bed,
Do not be afraid, make a new friend instead!

11/8 talk

"jackie?"
"yeah?"
"what are you doing?"
"playing tetris"
"clean your room"
"why"
-silence-
"because it needs to be cleaned"
"that's not an answer to my question"
"it needs to be cleaner than it is"
...