9/19 listening

9/19:
because i've learned to listen to advice

i've been talking about how stressed i've been. how much i just need to get away from it all. so a friend told me to do it- get away. he suggested paintballing. but josh took it one step further.
"what are you doing this weekend?"
"nothing"
i was bitter. nothing was right. and i wasn't happy.
"can i please just take you away?"
"what?"
so the plan was made. we're leaving saturday morning. and we're driving. and we're going to salinas to visit my best friend who moved away four years (wow, four years) ago. and we're spending the night there. but most importantly, we're getting away from everything here- people, parents, school, homework.
it'll be perfect. i am so looking forward to it.
i hate that it's this weekend, when people are leaving for college and such. but in the end, the time is now, and this is just something that i have to do. call me selfish, but it's planned. there it is.

i had a long talk with my sister about everything. apparantly when someone asks you "what's wrong" and you respond with "nothing" while bursting into can't-even-breathe tears, you're not so convincing. but we talked and it was good to finally tell someone stress after stress that i'm feeling right now. and she understood and gave advice, as much as was possible. and it made me feel better- more human.

i left school early today because i felt sickish. which sucked, but it was kind of a cool trip home and being home. my dad drove me and we talked about tennis. and we drove past a field that had something black in it, so i looked again and it was this black and white cat just sitting there. i thought it odd, but really cool. i don't know, it just hit me. i got home and changed out of my skirt and dad left right away. i slept for two hours, then woke up. i turned on paperweight (by schulyer fisk and joshua radin), turned up the volume REAL REAL loud, and sang along at the top of my lungs. then i read claudia's bulletin about dancing around, and realized while i was singing i hadn't been along. so i took her advice. and i jumped around and jumped on the couch and chairs and my dog was going crazy, chasing me, wondering what i was thinking. i soon realized jumping up and down does not help cramps. so much for feeling better. i wanted to take pictures. i felt cute. and i'm very into photography since monday's senior pictures. so i put on a skirt and set up my camera on auto and jumped on my bed spinning around and smiling and dancing. my skirt flew up in every picture, so they're all gone as to avoid blackmail. but it was still quite exhilarating. i'd like to try it again, with the camera NOT so under me, perhaps.
this wasn't meant to turn so long. but there it is. there was no real point. that was my day, and those are my thoughts. thanks for reading.