3/31:
topic given- 'free write'
stop asking, stop asking, stop asking! people need to stop asking the fateful question- 'did you get in?' no. i didn't. that's all there is. there isn't anymore. people used to ask what my number one was, my answer was always the same. stanford or berkeley. always. and i truly believed that- that they were equal. but now that i've heard back- one good news, acceptance, one bad news, rejection- i know what i believe i truly knew all along. it has always been stanford. there was never a question. i would have accepted the second i'd received the congratulations letter- no questions asked. but that's not an option. a dream deferred, a hope left hopeless, a wish ungrated. that's all there is. there isn't anymore. how i wish it was different. what i would give for it to be different. take back my five other acceptances, i'll trade them in for just the one, to have good news. to be able to say yes to that fateful question. what i wouldn't give. after working so hard, wasting so much time, slaving away, for what? a second choice. that's all there is. there isn't anymore.
so stop asking.
and this is me
- loveoneloveall
- i love to write. i don't like rules. music intrigues me. i need comfort. i don't mind company. i like sleeping. i get self-conscious. i am self-confident. i am easily annoyed. i fall fast. i want to travel everywhere. i am self-centered. i care about everyone more than myself. i hate exercising. i wish i was stronger. i am a self-proclaimed hypocrit. i desire someone to tell everything to. i despise jealousy. i think too much. i don't think before i speak. i crave trust. i love being loved. love me.
1 comment:
next year will still be good though. i know you love stanford, but i think berkeley is going to be great for you. i heard some things about people at stanford being a bit snobby, i know that there are people of all kinds everywhere...but a snobby stereotype is just no good! they're both amazing schools. you'll like berkeley.
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